Coping with a Difficult College Roommate
One of the challenges of college life is finding out you’ve been paired up with a roommate who is not always easy to get along with. Believe it or not, though, this situation can be yet another learning experience at college. Understanding how to deal with people with different perspectives can be a great life skill. Here are some tips on how to manage life with a difficult roommate.
1. Keep an open mind about your new roommate and don’t assume he is unfriendly just because he is quiet. Shy people often come across as unfriendly, when all they really need is the opportunity to connect with others. Start a conversation by asking where he’s from and what classes he’s taking. Even if you don’t get the response you hoped for, it was certainly worth a try.
2. If your roommate seems to want to start an argument with you, the first rule of order is not to engage. There is no way to have conflict unless both parties agree to escalate tensions. He may be someone who likes to press other peoples’ buttons just to get a rise out of them, so keep this in mind and stay cool, calm and collected.
3. If you find that your roommate attempts to argue with you constantly, it would be in your best interests to leave the room and come back when everyone has cooled off. There are people who may have grown up in an environment of constant tension, and that may be all they know. The moment your roommate starts hassling you, exit stage left.
4. It is a challenge to live with someone who is generally in a foul mood most of the time, but do make an effort not to take it personally. Obviously, your roommate is someone who has a negative attitude and perhaps few redeeming qualities, so it’s probably not about anything you’re doing. Just wait it out and in the interim, go on with life as normal.
5. For someone so young to be so pessimistic, there must be a back story you may not know about. Although it’s no excuse for a sour temperament, it may be that your roommate has had a difficult life, and as a result, has become a difficult person. Try to be patient and compassionate, and maybe in time, your roommate will come around.
These few steps can help you get along with a challenging roommate, and you can rest assured that you made every effort to bridge the gap between you. Use your judgment in terms of when to leave the room and when to extend a hand. It does take two to argue, and it takes two to keep the peace as well. Remember that if the situation is constantly stressful, you may choose ultimately to find another room with a more pleasant roommate.
Veronica Parsons has written numerous articles for websites on online colleges and online universities for mid-career professionals.